I Started Talking About Disability in My Classroom. It Changed Both Me and My Students
August 12, 2019
By: Sarah Manchandra
Source: Chalkbeat
For the first 22 years of my life, I denied having a disability. I invested all of my energy in hiding my blindness, praying for invisibility when I incorrectly copied down notes from the board, stumbled on words when reading aloud, or tripped over a step I couldn’t see. I wanted so badly to avoid the judgment and questions of others that I created a version of myself that would be perceived as normal, likable, and easy to accept.
Yet maintaining this facade also caused extreme anxiety. When would people notice my disability? Would it be when I was trying to pay for a coffee and couldn’t read the prompt on the screen to complete my order? Or when I walked past friends without acknowledging them because I couldn’t see their faces? Or when I was working on a group project in class and struggled to contribute because I couldn’t even read the instructions in print?
This anxiety made me adept at silencing my own voice, at taking up little to no space and bending to the whims of others in order to gain approval.
In 2011, I began working as a special education teacher in Washington D.C., working closely with upper elementary school children with mild to moderate impairments.